


The One With the Vicar's Daughter and the Chimney Sweep Dream

by GeckoGirl89



Category: Friends (TV)
Genre: Episode: s08e14 The One with the Secret Closet, Erotica, F/M, Falling In Love, Guilt, Heartbreak, Heavy Angst, Loneliness, Masturbation, Pining, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Sexual Fantasy, Wet Dream
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-17
Updated: 2016-11-17
Packaged: 2018-08-31 11:12:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8576179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GeckoGirl89/pseuds/GeckoGirl89
Summary: Joey startled awake, panting and sweating as he became aware of his surroundings. He had dreamed that he and Rachel were Zelda and the chimney sweep from Rachel's dirty book. God, he hadn't thought of that book for more than a year now.





	

**Author's Note:**

> At some point, I had to write about Rachel's erotica. This fic refers heavily to 7.02 (TOW Rachel's Book), but it is set during 8.14 (TOW The Secret Closet). Poor Joey is pretty miserable in this one when he's not fantasizing about Rachel.
> 
> Also, the "Little General" term is from 2.10 (TOW Russ).

Rachel met Joey's eyes over the needlepoint she was doing as he walked into the old house. She was wearing some kind of fancy, expensive dress from the 1800s, while Joey was dressed in raggedy, dark clothes and carried a brush for chimney sweeping.

Joey glanced away and swallowed heavily. He should focus on work, not the lovely young daughter of the house. He was here to clean the chimney, not socialize with someone above his station.

He moved his brush to begin cleaning the chimney and startled and dropped the brush when he felt Rachel's hand groping his backside. Joey was familiar with her touch by now.

Joey licked his lips, shuddering as she moved her hand to the front of his pants to stroke his rapidly hardening cock through the thin fabric and pressed light kisses to his neck. "Rach, we shouldn't. We could get in trouble."

She turned him around and kissed him deeply, plunging her tongue in his mouth. Joey clearly hadn't meant his words from earlier, as he wrapped his arms around Rachel, returning her kiss with equal passion. "It's been a week, Joey. My loins are burning for you. I need you."

Joey moaned at her erotic words and at the feeling of her undoing his trousers. He shut his eyes and attempted to focus. "What about your father?"

Rachel sank to her knees. "Don't worry, baby. The vicar won't be home for hours." She winked as she grabbed his dick with a firm hand and lowered her mouth over the tip.

* * *

Joey startled awake, panting and sweating as he became aware of his surroundings. He had dreamed that he and Rachel were Zelda and the chimney sweep from Rachel's dirty book. _God, he hadn't thought of that book for more than a year now._

When he had discovered Rachel's dirty book, Joey had been incredibly turned on by the thought of Rachel, someone usually teased for being vanilla, secretly reading porn and getting off to it. He had been able to deflect his reaction pretty well by teasing her and even telling Ross about the book, letting him join in on the joke. He thought he had found a way to handle it.

But then she turned the tables, backing Joey into the front door of their apartment, saying he said all of the right things and promising to give him a "rough ride."

Joey wasn't lying when he said he was scared of her. He was scared that if she moved any closer, she would be able to feel how much her words had excited him.

Rachel had just been getting back at him, but the Little General hadn't cared. Just like he didn't care right now that Joey was not a chimney sweep and Rachel was not the daughter of a vicar (whatever the hell that was). He also didn't care that thinking of Rachel this way was wrong and inappropriate and that Rachel would never come on to Joey in reality.

Joey idly wondered if Rachel still had that book, if she ever read it and touched herself when she got to the steamier parts, if she ever thought of him when she rubbed over her clitoris or pressed fingers inside herself.

The thought made Joey's cock, already tenting the sheet covering his lower half, throb with desire. He pushed back the sheet and gripped the shaft. He knew what he was doing was wrong and would only feed his growing obsession with Rachel, but he justified to himself that this was the quickest way to solve his current problem. At least he could do something about this dream, unlike his recent dream about being the father of Rachel's child.

Joey closed his eyes and let the fantasy pick up from where it had let off earlier. He conjured the image of Rachel kneeling before him, staring straight into his eyes as her mouth bobbed up and down on his dick. He tugged on his cock as he imagined the intense way she would gaze at him. He wanted to run his fingers through her hair, so he imagined doing so. He didn't really want to pull her hair or do anything to hurt her, but he wanted to touch her more than anything.

"What if one of your servants finds us?" he imagined asking. In reality, there was no way Joey would ask a question that might make Rachel stop if she was going down on him.

Imaginary Rachel released his cock with an obscene pop. "I don't care, Joey. You know what I want?"

He pictured himself brushing a strand of hair from in front of her face. "What do you want, baby?"

"I want you to make love to me right in front of the fireplace where anyone could see us."

"Oh, fuck," Joey groaned. He opened his eyes when he realized that he just spoke those last words out loud, waiting to see if he accidentally woke Rachel up. God, a part of him wanted Rachel to open the door and make his fantasy a reality. The part of him that knew that would never happen was relieved when he didn't hear anything and raised his hand to cover his mouth. He needed to stifle any other noises he might make.

Joey squeezed his eyes shut and imagined Rachel naked underneath him, slowly and carefully entering her as she wrapped her legs around his waist, pressing his dick even deeper inside her. He pictured Rachel's eyes lit up with desire as he filled her and the way she would urge him to move by rocking herself against him.

He bucked his dick into his hand as he imagined the way she would moan and cry out underneath him. He wanted to see her eyes dazed with pleasure, her cheeks flushed, and hair messy as he made passionate love to her. He wanted to let his hand stroke over her gorgeous breasts as he pressed sloppy kisses to her neck, as her tight, hot walls strangled his cock, pushing him to the brink.

"Don't know how the hell I'm gonna watch you with those suitors after this," imaginary Joey said, grunting into Rachel's neck.

Rachel grasped his shoulders and captured his lips with a kiss. "Don't want any suitors. Just want you."

Joey broke the kiss to breathe. "But your father wants to see you get married."

Imaginary Rachel dug her nails into his shoulder, clenching around his cock. "Run away with me, Joey! Marry me!"

Joey bit into his hand to avoid screaming Rachel's name as he came, spurting semen into his fist. The feeling of liquid on his hand made the wonderful fantasy disappear, and Joey blinked his eyes open to stare at the ceiling, biting his lip to avoid sobbing.

He thought that dream about having a baby with Rachel was awful, the way it made him so happy to be the father of her child, to hear her say that she loved him and that he was the best sex she had ever had. But this fantasy just brought all the subtext of that dream into stark relief. Joey wanted to _marry_ Rachel.

He breathed shakily, tears dripping down his face as he grabbed a box of tissues and cleaned away the evidence of his transgression, throwing it into the wastebasket beside his bed. He felt like a pathetic idiot. Joey thought he could give into the temptation that his sex dream presented and take care of his overactive libido, but he only made things worse for himself. He had been so desperate to believe Phoebe, that his feelings for Rachel were only a crush that would fade in time. But he kept having these not crush like feelings. He wanted to go on a real date with her where he could kiss her at the end of the night. He wanted to marry her and have children with her, and that was something he had never thought about before they went on that "date." The word crush seemed inadequate now, and Joey was forced to acknowledge that he was in love with Rachel. That didn't mean that he knew what to do about it.

 _Why Rachel, and why now?_ He wished he could burn these feelings out of his chest. If he had to fall in love, why couldn't he fall in love with someone who could love him back, who wasn't pregnant with his other friend's child? Why couldn't he fall in love with someone who he could actually be with, who wouldn't make Ross fall apart if Joey could actually have what he wanted?

Joey drew the sheet up over his body and held Hugsy close to his chest, needing the comfort of a stuffed animal as guilt and loneliness ate away at his heart. He fell asleep once exhaustion overcame his self-loathing, clutching his bedtime penguin pal and crying into his pillow.


End file.
